GENDER TREATMENT IN RELIGION AND SPIRITUALITY: Reinstating the order

Speaking Tree link: http://www.speakingtree.in/spiritual-blogs/seekers/science-of-spirituality/gender-treatment-in-religion-and-spirituality-setting-right-the-order


Here are narrations of two short stories that occurred over the past few years which really made me explore their relevance in modern Indian context.


Story-1: Near Pune, what is today a huge IT park, were once fertile farmlands which we used to visit quite frequently with our then young children. Infact, we had built a small country home on a tiny plot of land invested in. The place was used for relaxed family weekends and gave hands-on experiences of rural life to our urban bred kids. Most families in the vicinity of our home were generations of farmers who toiled hard on their lands. Generally a lovable lot, they were easy going, religious and god-respecting. As the IT boom gathered momentum, land prices began steaming up. Most lands which were hand downs from generations were sold to IT bigwigs and eager developers. Modest farmer families and their son’s became crorepatis overnight. The daughters – most who married and settled in nearby villages - realized that they were losing out on this monetary windfall. They began demanding an equal share in the proceeds of land deals something which was legally and rightfully theirs. This infuriated the brothers who took a position of keeping it all within the ‘family’. The patriarchal family, that is. Today, unfortunately many brother-sister cases are being contested in courts. So bitter are relations that joyful occasions such as ‘bhaiyya dooj’ and ‘raksha bandhan’ are not being celebrated. 

Story-2: A decade and a half ago when we moved into the apartment where we live today, we were to perform the auspicious ‘griha pravesh’ ceremony. My wife and i, who are at peace following different religions, are liberal, practical and progressive minded blokes who care for relevance within traditions. We are equally at ease doing away with those tradition and norms which have outlived their ‘use by’ date. So, the task of finding a priest to do the puja fell upon us. We thought why not explore the possibility of breaking away from tradition and hire services of a ‘stree purohit’ (woman pandita). And so when we began our search we stumbled upon the only one then in Pune city! Unhesitatingly and delightedly we engaged her services and were among the first in this city to do so! We were greatly impressed with her efficiency, confidence, sincerity, practicality and simplicity in conducting the rituals. We didn’t believe it at first when she said that Hindu tradition permitted qualified women to perform religious rites and that the thread ceremony- which most believed and yet believe was limited to the Brahmin family’s male child – was a routine thing in the past to be performed on the girl child too. During the Mughal invasion and the long period that followed, this tradition was suspended to protect the safety of the girls. But it never got revived thereafter.


Why am i narrating these stories here?


Over centuries while almost all traditions practiced in India may have covertly or overtly tried to portray society as a patriarchal one, the fact is that women had an equal and important role to play. History has recorded numerous instances wherein Kings and Emperors of dynasties sought advice from their Ranis and Begums when it came to strategy, peacetime or wartime. Therefore, the importance of women was not only established as a social or religious order then, but today is validated legally as well, in progressive countries including India. So, how can there be a billion of us religious people and yet women be relegated to the lower social order? It just doesn’t add up.


If we were to explore this aspect from a spiritual perspective, there is not a single guru(ma) worth his/her rosary to have preached for women to take a lower social position over men. Equality and impartiality is a major teaching scripted in all traditions. Its distortion otherwise is not to be supported. As a Buddhist practitioner of the elite Vajrayana lineage, it sometimes hurts me to see monks land greater opportunities and facilities over nuns. While most reasons for this are attributable to tracing lineage purity, debates are raging within the Sangha and things are poised for change sooner than later. Indeed the XIV Dalai Lama recently expressed that he hoped his successor would be a woman, only to jokingly add that if this were indeed to happen Buddhism may see many more followers!


With the spread of Buddhism to western nations and urban centres of India, the inter-play between Buddhist masters and lay society has seen an increase. The tradition therefore is evolving quicker to greater modern relevance and responsibility. Outdated concepts ought to be and are being done away with not without reason. Indeed, this is a good thing to happen for the evolution of any religion or faith to stay relevant and meaningful, thereby attracting followers and serving society and maintaining social peace and order in a way it is supposed to.


I believe a paradigm shift is needed - no doubt in male thinking by creating gender neutral society for which families and schools are to be identified as early grooming grounds - but importantly also in the mind of the progressive, emancipated woman who ought not to meekly mumble an outdated 'let there be discrimination against me so long as there is peace at home', but a stronger and firmer voice arising from self-belief which questions 'how can there be peace at home if I am discriminated against?'


In summation, although some regressive segments and primitive mindsets find it convenient to project society as a patriarchal one, in reality and traditionally it has always been one where the woman has stood at par; at times higher in the social and familial order and importance but never less. With gender discrimination fast losing relevance, the time-tested social order must be practiced with greater responsibility today in a society which has moved on to respect the importance of brain over brawn. This also means that the woman in the family asserts herself and claws her way back to a status of equality which was temporarily snatched away from her, but which was always hers.