A few days have passed since it’s been fifty years of my existence in this life. Prior to the D-day, my family was quite excited, which seemed normal, as some kind of significance is usually attached to this number. And so plans were offered and i was made to choose guest list and stuff like that. It was when i flatly refused any kind of celebration, that hell broke loose. Almost everyone at home came for my jugular! All sorts of ‘kind’ words were chucked at me – most of them not quite polite to reproduce here - but i endured through it all, until their storms passed. And then i was asked to explain my stand. “Ah! How i wish this option was given before brewing up the storm”, i thought to myself silently.
And this is what i had to offer to them. It is for you, dear reader, to contemplate upon and make a choice for yourself. This is the view of good Dharma practitioners. Beginning with the process of birth, we must indeed be grateful to our parents to have this precious human life bestowed upon us. It gives us great opportunity to whip up a spiritual trajectory unknown to any other life form. However, if we contemplate upon the process of child birth itself and the great suffering the child and mother have to undergo, we will realize that celebrating the day of birth would be like celebrating intense suffering. And this is the first of the four noble truths that Siddhartha realized. The suffering of birth. While Siddhartha examined the Four Truths in the context of ultimate liberation we are attempting to understand it here in the relative context of this life.
Moving into our growing years, all of us have accumulated all kinds of karma on account of our actions of body, speech, thoughts and emotions driven by various intensities of aversion and attraction . These include some good and virtuous ones and others bad and non-virtuous ones. Knowingly or unknowingly we have done it and even if we don’t remember each one of them, the fact that we have done them cannot be denied. The good deeds, if they were not contaminated by ambition, pride or competition would certainly accrue to the credit side of our ‘balance sheet’ if the merit accumulated from them were dedicated to others and not retained with us. The bad deeds will surely rest in the debit side and we must simply endure them unless we can find a way to purify, heal and transform them through certain practices to somewhat lessen their effect. So, it would be wise in attempting to understand this. If we have been engaged in realizing this and actually doing something about it, that’s fine otherwise celebrating our birthday would be like celebrating accumulation of years of misdeeds on others and ourselves and the misery they will bring on us in this life and rebirths ahead.
Some may argue that by celebrating our birthday we celebrate completion of another year of our life. This is right but if we think further and thin slice the year and our good fortune of being alive, we could bring in down to one day or just one breath. So we can really celebrate every day or every breath of ours! There is a saying in Tibetan Buddhist teachings which goes like this: “Our next day or our next life which will come first we can never say.”
For a real practitioner s/he is always trying to be free of every kind of desire or attachment. So, is there really much wisdom in staying attached to the day or year of our birth which occurred so many years ago and from which we are moving away with every passing day? If we think so, the question then beckons us is ‘Are we really succeeding in our practice?’
Lastly, for any person, whether or not a practitioner, realization at the time of death is most powerful. It is in these final moments of life that the true nature of our mind is revealed to us. What we really are and what we have instead been all our life comes across to us in stark clarity. This is unavoidable and no matter how we meet our end these images flash across our mind before the perfectly pristine nature of mind is revealed to us. It is the difference in practice that enables us to recognize it or miss it, thereby determining the quality of our re-birth. By that comparison, there is no realization in the infant at birth. It is precisely for this reason passing away (parinirvana) of realized masters is celebrated with prayers, donations and offerings rather than their date of birth.
Therefore, we can easily see the futility of celebrating our birthday a manner in which it is celebrated conventionally. And what i find most amusing of such celebrations is the western concept of blowing out candles! Transcending all religions, paths and traditions, it is widely accepted that lighting a candle is symbolic of dispelling darkness of ignorance in our minds and ushering in the light of wisdom. It may also be to invoke the element of fire which represents the mind's quality of clarity, fire is that element which supports the thermal system of our body and is that element also which controls the sense of sight. But, what can the blowing out of candles be symbolic of?
However, if we want to celebrate our birthday meaningfully, it would be wise to do so by doing community work, donating some money, food or clothes or any act of generosity towards those who are deprived of it and not as fortunate as we have been; and then sealing the action by dedicating the merit so accumulated for the wellness of the recipients of our generous gesture or our near and dear ones or to all sentient beings. The amount we donate is really irrelevant but what is extremely relevant is the heart’s pure intent and uncontaminated motivation of the mind behind it.
Have a happy and meaningful birthday!
And this is what i had to offer to them. It is for you, dear reader, to contemplate upon and make a choice for yourself. This is the view of good Dharma practitioners. Beginning with the process of birth, we must indeed be grateful to our parents to have this precious human life bestowed upon us. It gives us great opportunity to whip up a spiritual trajectory unknown to any other life form. However, if we contemplate upon the process of child birth itself and the great suffering the child and mother have to undergo, we will realize that celebrating the day of birth would be like celebrating intense suffering. And this is the first of the four noble truths that Siddhartha realized. The suffering of birth. While Siddhartha examined the Four Truths in the context of ultimate liberation we are attempting to understand it here in the relative context of this life.
Moving into our growing years, all of us have accumulated all kinds of karma on account of our actions of body, speech, thoughts and emotions driven by various intensities of aversion and attraction . These include some good and virtuous ones and others bad and non-virtuous ones. Knowingly or unknowingly we have done it and even if we don’t remember each one of them, the fact that we have done them cannot be denied. The good deeds, if they were not contaminated by ambition, pride or competition would certainly accrue to the credit side of our ‘balance sheet’ if the merit accumulated from them were dedicated to others and not retained with us. The bad deeds will surely rest in the debit side and we must simply endure them unless we can find a way to purify, heal and transform them through certain practices to somewhat lessen their effect. So, it would be wise in attempting to understand this. If we have been engaged in realizing this and actually doing something about it, that’s fine otherwise celebrating our birthday would be like celebrating accumulation of years of misdeeds on others and ourselves and the misery they will bring on us in this life and rebirths ahead.
Some may argue that by celebrating our birthday we celebrate completion of another year of our life. This is right but if we think further and thin slice the year and our good fortune of being alive, we could bring in down to one day or just one breath. So we can really celebrate every day or every breath of ours! There is a saying in Tibetan Buddhist teachings which goes like this: “Our next day or our next life which will come first we can never say.”
For a real practitioner s/he is always trying to be free of every kind of desire or attachment. So, is there really much wisdom in staying attached to the day or year of our birth which occurred so many years ago and from which we are moving away with every passing day? If we think so, the question then beckons us is ‘Are we really succeeding in our practice?’
Lastly, for any person, whether or not a practitioner, realization at the time of death is most powerful. It is in these final moments of life that the true nature of our mind is revealed to us. What we really are and what we have instead been all our life comes across to us in stark clarity. This is unavoidable and no matter how we meet our end these images flash across our mind before the perfectly pristine nature of mind is revealed to us. It is the difference in practice that enables us to recognize it or miss it, thereby determining the quality of our re-birth. By that comparison, there is no realization in the infant at birth. It is precisely for this reason passing away (parinirvana) of realized masters is celebrated with prayers, donations and offerings rather than their date of birth.
Therefore, we can easily see the futility of celebrating our birthday a manner in which it is celebrated conventionally. And what i find most amusing of such celebrations is the western concept of blowing out candles! Transcending all religions, paths and traditions, it is widely accepted that lighting a candle is symbolic of dispelling darkness of ignorance in our minds and ushering in the light of wisdom. It may also be to invoke the element of fire which represents the mind's quality of clarity, fire is that element which supports the thermal system of our body and is that element also which controls the sense of sight. But, what can the blowing out of candles be symbolic of?
However, if we want to celebrate our birthday meaningfully, it would be wise to do so by doing community work, donating some money, food or clothes or any act of generosity towards those who are deprived of it and not as fortunate as we have been; and then sealing the action by dedicating the merit so accumulated for the wellness of the recipients of our generous gesture or our near and dear ones or to all sentient beings. The amount we donate is really irrelevant but what is extremely relevant is the heart’s pure intent and uncontaminated motivation of the mind behind it.
Have a happy and meaningful birthday!
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