RAKSHA BANDHAN - Reflecting on Protection

SPEAKING TREE, TOI, 05.08.2012


A young boy of a middle class family, all of 5yrs, is sitting on a chair in the drawing room of his parents’ modest apartment. He’s wearing a crisp and well fitting pyjama-kurta bought specially for the occasion of Raksha Bandhan. In the pocket of his kurta he safeguards an envelope with some content of cash. Proudly sporting a ‘tilak’ on his forehead, just under the Anna cap, he waits impatiently for his mother and elder sister, aged 12yrs, to get the pooja thali ready. After all today is the day his sister and he had been waiting for.


This perhaps is quite a familiar situation that we can visualize in millions of households across socio-economic sections of India. Perhaps among NRI’s too. Chances are that we may have even gone through these situations in our growing years, whether or not we had a sibling; cousins and neighbours’ ‘bhaiyya’ or ‘didi’ happily filling in.


The pooja thali arrives. The older sister goes through the rituals of lighting the lamp, moving the thali clockwise around the innocent face of her brother and showering him with coloured rice. The boy places the envelope on the pooja thali, as a gift for his sister, which she eyes expectantly. The ritual ends with the sister tying a rakhi or sacred thread of protection around her brother’s right wrist, signifying the assurance of protection the brother heaps upon his sister as commitment.


Wait a minute. It’s not over yet.


The boy innocently asks his sister “Akka, every morning when we walk to the bus-stop to go to school, it is you who holds my hand while crossing the road.”
“Yes, so?” enquires the sister with a tinge of irritation.
“It is you who takes care to ensure whether i’ve eaten my dabba or not, right?”
“Yes, baba! So what?” the girl looks at her mother with a quiz on her face.
“And it is you, who ensures that i have got everything back from school”.
“And continues sheepishly “it is also you who speaks to the supervisor in my defence when i’m pulled up for mischief!”
“Yes, yes...now you better tell me what you’re getting at else i’m going. I don’t have time for such kid stuff”, the sister sounds an ultimatum.
“If all the time it is you who are protecting me, then why should i also not tie a rakhi to you?”


The household is stunned into silence.


Each looks at the other with no real answers. The parents’ eyes turn moist. The sister laughs it off as some childish gibberish and chides him “Stupid, it is meant to be so. Now go.”


In walks grandma. “Wait a minute, Akka. Putta has raised a question for all of us to reflect upon.”


Her wisdom tumbles out. And everybody listens in rapt attention.


Grandma continues: “It was okay in yesteryears when it was just men who had to earn and provide for the family. It was they who had to fight wars and battles and so it was their duty to protect the family. Women largely stayed at home, seldom ventured out and engaged mostly in household chores. Even i did it. So by that logic it was fine that sisters tied the thread of protection and took a vow from the brother to protect her from all harm. But now, times have changed and so should traditions that have outlived their time. The ‘wars’ to be fought are those of self and social responsibility, of economic and emotional challenges, those of equality and self-respect. Gone are the days of physical wars and masculine domination and male one-upmanship. Today, as parents you are educating your daughter as passionately so that she grows up to be self-sufficient and independent. You are empowering her into emancipation so that she will look after herself and her family - where she gets married into - with compassion, self-dignity and as much responsibility as her husband would. While the brother is certainly expected to come to his sister’s aid, it could well be that in times of difficulty for Putta, it would be Akka who will come to his rescue. It would be a situation of mutual protection. Then what is wrong in what Putta has asked? He should certainly be allowed to tie the rakhi – the thread of everlasting protection – on Akka’s wrist too!”


Friends, give this a good and honest thought. On Raksha Bandhan day this year, i have decided to also tie rakhi to my sister. And you?

WHAT ABOUT PURGINGS OF THE MIND?

SPEAKING TREE, TOI, PICK OF THE WEEK!


Recently i was watching a popular cinema star anchoring a show wherein the suffering and humiliation of night soil carriers and sewage cleaners were depicted. It was really heart rending to see that. Surely, the nation cringed at the visuals they saw of those workers doing that wretched kind of work; of having to clear up the mess other people have left behind. Some may have also directed their disappointment and anger at the government for not being able to bring an end to such miserable work after sixty years of attaining sovereign status. We thought: Why should others do the dirty job of clearing the mess we leave behind?


It got me thinking.


Although the body is important to us, acting as the support for our mind, it is the lowest form of our being if we were to consider the body, intellect and mind combination of existence. This can be understood by considering this fact. The world has so many different kinds of cuisines. Almost each one of them has its own charm in terms of aromatic flavours, visual appeal, touch and ofcourse taste. But when the food gets digested, it is expelled out in such an impure, foul smelling and repulsive looking form. Even the insides of our body, when we see it under an X-ray is full of blood, bones and flesh in one mass of something that is not really appealing. And we cannot improve this condition whatever we may try to do. On the other hand, we can develop our intelligence and train our minds to the best possible level we want. We expel impurities from our body day after day. We tend to accept this condition and situation and seem to get on with life, considering it to be a matter of fact situation.


But what about the purgings of our mind?


Quite ironical, i thought. On one hand we dont want others to clear the ‘visible’ mess we have created, yet we have no shame, no remorse when we it came to more intense sort of things we easily inflict upon people day in and out! For the latter, however, we urge our buddha or god to clear the mess. This seemed so hypocritical. Every day, almost all the time we are generating all kinds of garbage from our mind in the form of negative emotions, impure thoughts, destructive habits and non-virtuous actions. Unmindfully we expel these negativities and heap them upon others in the form of body, speech and mind actions. And most of the times we donot seem to have any remorse for these actions. We also try and justify them! I have even witnessed on many occasions people who are publicly corrupt, most uncivilized and insensitive going to a place of worship an beseeching their gods to rid them of their negativities! If it were to end here, it would be fine. But the same person would step out of the place of worship and the very next moment indulge in all his/her old ways.


While in the case of the night soil carriers, atleast an external mechanism like a government or laws and regulations that can be put in place to end the practice. But who can we turn to to rid ourselves of the horrendous things we excrete through our mind? Things which are far more harmful to the wellness of society. Things which are far more dangerous to our own selves than to others for the baggage of karma they create for us. Things which will certainly come back to haunt us in this or next lives, depending on the ripening of causes and conditions.


We can at best only take support of the teachings of our faith and our diligent practice to rid ourselves of these negativities. We can only wish for the blessings of our guru and god to rid us of these delusions. However, all the work for actually getting rid of the poisons such as anger, greed, envy, wrong views, desire and ego - the very basis of our wandering in samsara for many lifetimes - we have to work upon them ourselves. No buddha or god is going to do it for us. We have to endeavour hard at overcoming them ourselves. In effect, we have to clear up our own mess. We have to lift our own load.


So, one one had it is really very fine to feel sorry for the headload carriers and work for their benefit too, but it would do us and all those around us more good if we began by feeling sorry for ourselves and aimed at improving our own condition. As HH Dalai Lama says “Let us be wisely selfish."